The B/A Saga - Chapters 1-3
by Jessica
Summary: Buffy and Angel come together after a long time apart.


TITLE: The B/A Saga - Chapters 1-3  
AUTHOR: Jessica  
RATING: PG  
PART OF: The B/A Saga  
CLASSIFICATION: B/A  
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just keep my name on it and let me know.  
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own.  
FEEDBACK: Always Needed!  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: First chapter in my "The B/A Saga". Buffy & Angel find its hard to live without each other. Written in   
both's point of view.  
  
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I don't know how long I'll be able to stand not being with him. He is everything to me, my life. Without him, I'm powerless to my moods and emotions. I can't do this . . . can't live without him. When he left me, I became unwhole an at a lose for words. My slaying has became a allday thing. I slay all the time. I don't see a future for myself, not that I ever did. I seemyself dying old and without anyone know. I guess I slay so much because I hope that one night, Angel will come walking up. I know he won't because one thing Angel is - committed. So, when I hope he'll show up, logically, I know he won't but I guess thats why I hope. I want him to walk up to me one night and kiss me in one second and slay a demon in the next but realistically, I know, I know I'm dreaming for something that won't ever happen but I continue, night after night to dream this because I have no other choice . . . because then I'd have to face the fact that I'm alone, without the man I love and I just won't be able to deal with it.   
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Walking away from her was one of the most hardest things I've ever done. I knew it would hurt her - I just couldn't guess the extend of internal pain I would feel at my end. It was hard not to turn back and say 'Hey, I made a mistake.' but I couldn't . . . or maybe, wouldn't but for whatever reason I knew it was the right thing to do. Forget my pain, it had to be done . . . I guess. I don't know anymore as I face night after night, alone in my bed with the darkness of pain and agony. At least before, I was alone but I knew she'd be around later to see or some nights she'd be there to comfort me so it would be less painful but now . . . nothing. Why did I leave her really? Because she needed space? Because he needed space or because something he was afraid of what might happen if their relationship wasn't ended right away. He knew down deep that was the real reason. He was afraid that he would ravish her and his curse would come back to bite them all in the butts again.  
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Either way . . . they both felt pain.  
  
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"Well, if we do this it would --," Cordelia started.  
  
"Angel," Buffy breathed, like the name itself would overcome her and drive her crazy.   
  
In many ways, it would.  
  
"Whoa, so this is Buffy," Doyle said, stunned.  
  
"She's smaller than I had thought," he said as Cordelia tugged forcefully at his arm.   
  
She moved towards the door.  
  
"Nice seeing you Buffy and we'll be out of your way," she said.  
  
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"What are you doing here, Buffy?" Angel asked, more than a bit suprised.  
  
"You . . . I'm here for you," she said rather akwardly.  
  
"Me? I don't understand."  
  
"Yes, you do . . . don't you feel it? The ever lonesome feeling, day and night because we're not together? The pain you feel that never seems to go away? The pain of not being together like we should be? Can you honestly sit there and say you don't feel it?" she asked boldly daring him to say no.  
  
"No, I can't say that and better still - I won't but what I will say is you and I both know its the right thing to do, there isn't any way for us to be together without the curse and that curse will destroy the world and you and I. Look what it already did to us . . . to you . . . to the world. I killed people, people who were innocent, people you loved just to hurt you and for no other purpose. We can't risk that," he finished taking an unneeded breath.  
  
"I've thought about all the ways we might be able to be together, day and night, every possible way and I'll tell you, they all failed to be ways but one. There was one way I thought of," she said stopping to see if she got his attention.  
  
Angel just looked up at her and waited for her to explain.  
  
"If there is some way for Tara and Willow to break the spell . . . the curse so we can be together, forever. You'd still be able to be you, just without the curse so you can be as happy as you want without any danger. I haven't asked them because I wanted to come to you first,"she said, hoping against hope that he's see the light.  
  
"What is they can't?" he asked, always the darkness where there was light.  
  
"Then we haven't lost anything, have we? I'll go back to be lonely and in love with you away from you as usual. Like I said, we don't lose anything by asking."  
  
"Alright, call them, you can use my telephone here," he said, handing her the phone.  
  
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Ring . . . Ring . . . Ring . . . Ring  
  
"Hello?" Tara said, picking up the phone.  
  
"Hi Tara, its Buffy, is Willow there?"  
  
"How'd you know?" she asked, stunned.  
  
"A good guess," Buffy said with a small laugh.  
  
"OH, well, here," Tara said, handing the phone to Willow.  
  
"Wait!" she yelled so Tara wouldn't give the phone up.  
  
"Yes?" Tara asked, a little confused why Buffy would want to talk to her and not Willow.  
  
"I want to talk to both of you. Do you have another phone you could listen in with?" Buffy asked, hoping she did.  
  
"Yes, I'll go get it, here Willow," she said, giving the phone to Willow and going to pick up the other phone.  
  
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"I'm in L.A. at Angel's place."  
  
"Wow, really?" Willow asked, stunned she hadn't known until now.  
  
"Yes, really, Willow. I want to try to make this work and I was wondering if there was any way you coukd make his curse go away."  
  
"You mean his soul?" Tara asked incrediously.  
  
"No, just the curse, not his soul."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'm sure in some book, somewhere there is, its just locating the book," Willow said, happy for Buffy.  
  
"Can you look at the magic shop with all the books they have there?" Buffy asked.  
  
"We can try, right Tara?" Willow said.  
  
"Yeah, they have lots of books there, its bound to be in one of them," Tara assured Buffy.  
  
"Thanks you two, if you find it, you'll never know who much this means to us," Buffy said.  
  
"Hey, I was there with he went all vampy at his last happy and how unhappy you were when you sent him to hell, so I know Buffy, I hope you two all the best," Willow said from her heart.  
  
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"Well?" Angel asked, Buffy hung up.  
  
"They think it might be in a book at the magic shop so their going to go look first thing tomorrow.  
  
"Another night alone," he said.  
  
"No, we can be together and not have sex you know," she said teasingly.  
  
"True, we can just sleep together," he said with a smile.  
  
"Exactly."  



End file.
